Writers make Good Gardeners

I haven't written in a week...I have however redone my back yard.
Now here in Canada, that 's quite normal, in fact, every single garden looks like it came out of Home and Garden Magazine and May "two four" (24) is like Gardener's Christmas weekend. So the average Canadian...particularly Ontarians go crazy and spend the entire weekend planting, mowing, watering or simply hovering in their gardens. I have, however, generally the most interesting back yard of the lot having inherited green lawn from the former owner and employing a few strategic techniques to change the look.

Here are a few of my gardening tips used over the last few years

• spray weed killer that reduces the lawn to green patches
• buy plants too early and have them frost bitten
• leave the lawn mower for the entire winter to allow rust to set in
• allow weeds to grow so you can see how tall you are
• when asked about your five foot weeds use the "no lawn mower" shrug
  
• dig the entire back yard, eventually converting backyard to Grand Canyons
• plan to make Japanese garden out of Grand Canyon for a few weeks
  
• Stop worrying about it when it begins to snow
  

Unfortunately the snow melted in April and I could hear a collective groan from my neighbours. This din and my humanitarianism was so disturbing, that I have been forced into gardening ....after much debate with my kids, a couple of fights and back breaking work I now have a lawn again. Now I've gotten all ambitious, I'm doing a gravel path leading to graphic grasses in white marble on one end and a miniature pond on the other. Did I mention that if you played basketball in my back yard you'd be playing in a half court. Oh well my neighbours are smiling at me now!
Submitted by Kathy Thomas